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3HAMS originates from the desire to offer a more nuanced portrayal of life in recovery from an eating disorder. As two people who have struggled with eating disorders and body dysmorphia throughout our lives, we were interested in exploring relationships that are forged over shared trauma. In particular, can these dynamics sustain as we break free of toxic cycles? While the friends we find in our darkest moments of mental illness can be live-saving, they can also be the exact thing holding us back as we attempt to heal. By interweaving moments of Clown with more grounded moments between two friends, 3HAMS evokes the mental loops we find ourselves trapped in and wrestles with the realities of codependency, anxiety, and body dysmorphia.


Also integral to 3HAMS is the queer identities of both characters. Each at different points in their queer journey, Ry and Max’s respective relationships to their identity influences their relationship with their body. As queer creators ourselves, the distinct experience of LGTBQ+ people with eating disorders and body dysmorphia was important for us to address, as it remains vastly underrepresented and misunderstood.


So many of these experiences remain invisible inside of our heads. With this piece, we search for a way to express the “inside”. It is not always logical, but it is deeply felt. It traps us, but it also offers us incredible brilliance. It can be tragic but also hilarious and enlivening. This is our exploration of what this existence feels like to us and an investigation of what it takes to break a cycle.

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